Archives from Diary

Date : 25^th April 2014

I always gaze at these wheat fields while travelling back from work everyday. This is the time of the day when I am at peace with my inner self. It is an insightful time that I like to spend with myself.  I long for this time and this isolation has earned me some bad reputation amongst my colleagues as well. But there are some new collaborations that I have created. I have been seing these wheat fields  since past six months now and have built an unattached association with them.  The vast fields and beautiful sunsets have become a part of my routine now. When I first saw them it was November, they were all lush green, alive, completely full of life, full of colors. The exuberant green had some kind of euphoria which could bring you in a temporary divine state. It just soothed and pleased my eyes every time I glanced at them. Its a picture that shows us how prosperous and beautiful life is. Full of colors, lively and content just like these fields.  

Then came March, the green fields started turning up golden. One day returning from work I realized that everything was turned golden. Where has the color green disappeared? I asked myself. Did I wake up from a dream? Sometimes the transitions are slow but yet they seem abrupt. Now the field had worn a new attire, the golden attire. Green was superseded by Golden, so were the thoughts. Changes are always hard to accept and golden also didn’t seem to be welcoming but it altogether brought a different mood of life. A more harsh yet very bright, more sharp but yet very mature. The color could just instantly catch your attention give you  a sense of reality. It was not a color that would soothe you but a color that stood up straight and self reliant, in those vast fields elucidating its own identity, giving a message of its sheer presence. A catchy presence which could not be ignored. The same green fields which had abundance of life now could also be dry and rough.

It is April now, the to time to harvest the crops. Those green turned golden fields have started disappearing. The fields look now ugly and crushed. The fields have gone bald showing the earthly scalp which is not a good sight to see. In this course of six months I had formed a connection with these wheat fields. And this face of these fields is not engaging and I do not identify them. But I wonder how is it possible that the same fields could be all three. Green, Golden and Ugly. How could something so beautiful turn so terrible. But that is how the nature cycle works. Their disappearance is disturbing yet it shouts out a strong meaning. I think we people are synonymous to these wheat fields. We are green, golden and ugly. Sometimes beautiful and sometime unpleasant. It is like two sides of a coin, we can see only one side but yet the existence of the other side cannot be denied. There is ugliness inside all of us and all the things in the world. Though we do not identify with it but it touches our lives time to time.

There is an ugly face.